Don't Eat What Is Eating You

by Pat Antonopoulos

We know that scene well. The feeling of helpless hopelessness...that awful realization that nothing can done...powerless.
Reaching for comfort is needed. To sustain we have to find some wiggle room--a way to get out from under the pain.
Sometimes, the comfort is food or drink...or both.
Neither works.
Both lead to a new guilt, but a guilt that is easier to handle than the one that triggered the pain. This new guilt is one that masks the hopelessness and one that we say we can control. We just need to stop.

While walking at the park I shamelessly eavesdrop whenever the conversation is close. Usually, there are just snippets because the see-saw of passing keeps contact to a minimum. It is nice to hear couples sharing their stories and parents laughing with the kids so I listen and we smile when they look my way.

Today was different.
A young mother needed something...some comfort, some pain relief. And it was pretty obvious that food was her pill of choice. Dad and kids walked together, but several steps behind mom as she struggled to carry her weight. They seemed to be giving her space. When Dad and the kids laughed, Mom angrily shouted for them to keep up. One of the girls asked if they could stop on the bridge and look at the water. Mom's sigh was annoyed. She stopped dead-still, back to the family, foot tapping, and waited while they looked.

No way for me to make this my business. None.
I could smile and say something inane..."beautiful day"...but it wasn't a beauty she could see. So I just said, "Hi. Cute kids. Nice day to be together in the park."
And I moved down the path...helpless.