Desperate Housewife....Fairway, Kansas

by

Patti Dickinson

Kids are all back in school. This morning, I began my annual kitchen clean up. After a summer of kids making everything from homemade salsa, Kraft mac and cheese, frozen pizzas and fruit punch Crystal Light around the clock, let's just say that the kitchen needed a little work. Admittedly I am a little OCD about my kitchen. I don't like dried dishwasher gunk on my plates, cups or bowls because they haven't been put in the dishwasher correctly. I mean we've got a good quality dishwasher, but the kids think that means that any cooking utensil goes in the dishwasher without so much as a quick rinse in the sink.

As I cleaned cabinets and rearranged some things, I realized just how tired some of my kitchen things were. I mean, I still have two Revere Ware antiques...one a frying pan, the other a double boiler (but I only have the lid and the pot because I sent soup down the street to an elderly couple years ago and they never brought the middle part back. I sent the kids down once to ask for it, but they didn't seem to have any idea what my kids were talking about.....Note to self: Tupperware next time) I found a pathetic Rubbermaid strainer. It's sunshine yellow and somehow the little holes sort of melted together and only about 1/3 of the holes are capable of straining liquid. I threw that thing away. And promptly got online and ordered a 3-piece graduated stainless steel set from Williams and Sonoma. (I plan on cooking 30 more years to justify the cost!) Cloth pot holders. I wouldn't wash a car with them! Tattered, scorch marks, dingy. Into the trash. Ditto the kitchen towels. Ditto the corn-on-the-cob prongs. Rusted and unappetizing.

So the clean up has turned into a clean out.....three decades is long enough for the ragged, tattered, dated kitchen appliances/utensils/essentials to be expected to do their job.

Next purchase....a brand spanking new ice cream maker. The one we have is a wooden one, mostly dry-rotted, and you have to hand crank it. The most charming part, however, is that as you crank, the ice chips and rock salt spit all over the counter and floor. Rustic. Annoying.

Yup, this desperate housewife's kitchen needs some spiffing up.