Frienship

by Pat Antonopoulos

Kahlil Gibran said, "Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity."
Isn't that beautiful! Friendship becomes a force--a sweet imperative for a rich life. But more...so much more. Responsibility takes friendship out of the modern concept of both networking and good times. Responsibility puts friendship into one of the most important commitments we can make. Nurturing a friendship is a nurturing of self and never to be taken lightly.

Often we read that a true friend will accept us totally, the part we show most of the world and the part we cover in shadow. Maybe. But the shadow part cannot surpass the boundaries a friend holds as inviolable. There are limits of acceptance. Many friendships are strained because a line is crossed. All friendships do not survive the burden of another's darkest self. Some friendships do not survive something as mundane as routine social mores. Some do not survive our individualistic society because caring for the friend as one cares for self just isn't going to happen. We accept the ministrations of friendship as our due, but sometimes pass over a quiet plea for help. Some of us want to receive the care from friendship rather than be the provider of shelter in those darkest times.

Maybe the process of friendship is ongoing...takes a long time to become...has name but not substance for extended periods. Maybe we need a new word that fits between acquaintance and friend...a word that honors the becoming but does not presume the result.

Exploring friendship, we can discover those who truly listen and care about the voice in which we speak. We find those who let us unfold one conversation at a time accepting differing points of view as a building process and not as personal attacks or arguments. And if we are very lucky, we share a great deal of laughter and support as we explore.