Do We Care?

by Pat Antonopoulos

In the not so distant past, a very good friend and I did a workshop on Effects Of The Media Message. We researched, created charts, read books,quoted professionals, supplied boxes of data to support our observations. We made ourselves available to any group who would invite our message.

My friend and I were elementary teachers, sharing a common area outside her music room and my kindergarten classroom. Someone smilingly deemed our school 'cupcake land' as we seemed to have so much of the good that circumstance can offer. Even here, we documented the changes so evident in our students.

As we presented our workshop material, we talked about the increase in bullying behaviors, the decrease in respect for others, the harm created by fake self esteem--esteem bestowed but not earned.
My friend and I had uncounted examples of media messages wherein the 'put-down', the sarcastic response, the dumbing-down of interactions were prominent. We had so many examples of winning-at-any cost. Examples of media violence filled several boxes.

We viewed many scenes of young girls being portrayed in ways that took away their childhood. Sculpted hair, make-up and clothing designed to be sexy were offered as the ideal.
There were statistics saying that the most popular graduation gift (late '90's and early 2000's)
for females was breast augmentation. Looking good, no matter the cost.

Our girls, our daughters, granddaughters, students, kids next door, were being forced by media pressure to move into behaviors for which they were emotionally unprepared. Fashion demanded tiny tops, short skirts, and tight clothing. These are adult choices, not choices that we should welcome for our middle school children.

There are reports of sexting (the subject of an earlier blog), and even oral sex in the school stair wells. Adult choices being forced onto ever younger children. Choices presented to them by the messages of the media.

Our children have a lifetime of choices ahead. We have forced them into early behavior decisions without insuring the maturity to understand long-term results.

We read about large numbers of depressed young teens, especially girls. We hear of overwhelming sadness coupled with acting out behaviors. Books are being written on the subject of bullying and the staggering increase in these behaviors. When confronted with accepting responsibility for personal behavior, many teens are appalled. Consequences are for someone else. The responsibility is owned by another.

This is not a school issue, though many of the difficulties are apparent in school settings. Teachers and school administrators cannot be the solution. Theirs is the business of educating so our children can become fully functioning adults. Mandated solutions rarely produced good results.

That leaves us---parents and even grandparents. We are not our kid's best friend. We are the adult parent making the difficult choices, guiding, protecting, nurturing our young teens. And we are required to make these choices without a guide book. There are no easy answers. Day by day by day...hard decision by difficult decision, we take back our young teens.

One final thought...
After completing one of the presentation, I was answering questions and welcoming comments from the audience. A mother shook my hand and thanked me for the material. Then, she said, rather sadly, "You know why you will fail in this quest? Because we need the television to make our lives so much easier. We will not give it up."