For Pat's blog click HERE.
For Patti's blog click HERE.
The book website is http://www.fourordinarywomen.com.
Check there often for special events and surprises.
Showing posts with label Pat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pat. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Change
We are going to try a bit different way of handling our blogs. To find all the blogs you can simply click HERE.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Gentle Readers
by Pat Antonopoulos
On Monday, October 26, progress is about to interrupt our communication. The expression that works here is "going dark". Seems that a cable hook-up might finally happen. Our dial-up connection will be sporadic at best until change over is completed by very early November....at least that is what I have been told.
I will miss you. Each time I write a blog, I know you are with us...with
Four Ordinary Women...so please check every day to see if we are active. Consider rereading the newest blogs and adding your comments. Consider rereading older blogs that you might have missed.
Consider how we might meet you in person through your book clubs, church groups, organizations. Each time we are invited to speak with a group, we learn. We learn about the depth and power of communicating from the heart. We learn that our book has touched the hearts and spirits of our readers. We are touched by sharing the time with you, Gentle Readers. Our website gives contact information.
fourordinarywomen.com
So...talk to you soon.
On Monday, October 26, progress is about to interrupt our communication. The expression that works here is "going dark". Seems that a cable hook-up might finally happen. Our dial-up connection will be sporadic at best until change over is completed by very early November....at least that is what I have been told.
I will miss you. Each time I write a blog, I know you are with us...with
Four Ordinary Women...so please check every day to see if we are active. Consider rereading the newest blogs and adding your comments. Consider rereading older blogs that you might have missed.
Consider how we might meet you in person through your book clubs, church groups, organizations. Each time we are invited to speak with a group, we learn. We learn about the depth and power of communicating from the heart. We learn that our book has touched the hearts and spirits of our readers. We are touched by sharing the time with you, Gentle Readers. Our website gives contact information.
fourordinarywomen.com
So...talk to you soon.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Autumn and Mom
by Pat Antonopoulos
My mother accepted the change from wife to widow with great grace. Within a year of Dad's death, Mom sold the home and moved into an apartment becoming the independent woman. Granted, the apartment was not far from the family home and from my sister who lived a few houses down the block. Mom created her card playing social circle, continued to sew and read, and became the unofficial 'ear' for the other women in the apartment. Mom listened and helped.
When Mom's car had more scraps and dents than Maaco wanted to tackle....when the concrete curbs and telephone poles were marked with red auto paint....when Pete, the mechanic, could no longer accept her business...the time had come. We had to sell her car.
Time isn't gentle and Mom's decline went far too quickly. She left the apartment for assisted living. Even after she was moved to the locked-door Alzheimer wing of the facility, Mom continued to enjoy going 'for a ride' often asking that we circle Wyandotte County Lake where she and Dad had enjoyed fishing. She loved the Fall colors. She loved the search for Bittersweet to decorate her night stand. Often, she wanted the window down so she could smell the dampness.
Eventually, the rides to the lake would end almost before they began. We would get to the Manor's parking lot exit ramp and Mom would say it was time to go home now...before it got to dark to see any more colors. Mom thought we had already looked at the spill-way where she always remembered the stories of Mark's climbing escapades. She thought we had looked at the beautiful oranges, yellows and reds that she called
nature's best.
I miss her. I miss the way she was before dementia took her. And I miss the woman she became when she looked at me with uncomprehending eyes. Not that she didn't know me. She did. But she didn't know her place in this world. She seemed so sad and lost. I do miss her.
But Mom never lost nature's best colors. That might be why this time of year feels so soft and looks so glorious...and why my face is wet with memory.
My mother accepted the change from wife to widow with great grace. Within a year of Dad's death, Mom sold the home and moved into an apartment becoming the independent woman. Granted, the apartment was not far from the family home and from my sister who lived a few houses down the block. Mom created her card playing social circle, continued to sew and read, and became the unofficial 'ear' for the other women in the apartment. Mom listened and helped.
When Mom's car had more scraps and dents than Maaco wanted to tackle....when the concrete curbs and telephone poles were marked with red auto paint....when Pete, the mechanic, could no longer accept her business...the time had come. We had to sell her car.
Time isn't gentle and Mom's decline went far too quickly. She left the apartment for assisted living. Even after she was moved to the locked-door Alzheimer wing of the facility, Mom continued to enjoy going 'for a ride' often asking that we circle Wyandotte County Lake where she and Dad had enjoyed fishing. She loved the Fall colors. She loved the search for Bittersweet to decorate her night stand. Often, she wanted the window down so she could smell the dampness.
Eventually, the rides to the lake would end almost before they began. We would get to the Manor's parking lot exit ramp and Mom would say it was time to go home now...before it got to dark to see any more colors. Mom thought we had already looked at the spill-way where she always remembered the stories of Mark's climbing escapades. She thought we had looked at the beautiful oranges, yellows and reds that she called
nature's best.
I miss her. I miss the way she was before dementia took her. And I miss the woman she became when she looked at me with uncomprehending eyes. Not that she didn't know me. She did. But she didn't know her place in this world. She seemed so sad and lost. I do miss her.
But Mom never lost nature's best colors. That might be why this time of year feels so soft and looks so glorious...and why my face is wet with memory.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Going The Distance
by Pat Antonopoulos
In the beginning the 'distance' might have been a football field or any version of a race. A sports phrase became cliche because it fits so much of what we do. The difference being that in a sporting event, we see the end-point--the uprights, the checkered flag, final score, the finish line. Day to day takes a different kind of perseverance.
We might hope for, work towards a specific result, but we don't know the distance. Some might say that positive thinking will get you what you seek, that if one believes, success will happen. Others might say that commitment and determination are the qualities needed for reaching any goal. Still others will say that any outcome is part of a Larger Plan and we should accept whatever results. Not my choice.
One of my elementary school teachers, a Sister of Charity of Leavenworth, had a rule for test study. "Pray like everything depended on God, but work like everything depends on you." She covered both sides of that Larger Plan without giving her students any reason to make excuses. I liked that.
Four Ordinary Women has benefited from the persistent commitment of Patti's husband, Wood Dickinson. Take a look at our website
www.fourordinarywomen.com
Look a bit more and enjoy our blogs as listed on the website. They are beautiful. They have taken a tremendous amount of Wood's time and talent.
Have you ever been really good at something and been asked to share that hobby with someone just learning? Maybe play tennis or golf with a total beginner? Patience, right? Takes unbelievable patience to pull it off without deep sighs, barely perceptible shakes of the head and a sore spot from biting the tongue. Wood is computer expert and we are rank duffers, but I have never felt his impatience even when I ask the same stuff over and over.
I have often talked about the steep-learning-curve that has taken us from writing to publishing to marketing to distributing. Patti has used the expression, "slogging through waist deep sand" to describe parts of this adventure. There are days when her words felt exactly right. However, we could not have come this far without the constant commitment of Wood's perseverance.
There is no doubt that we are going the distance.
In the beginning the 'distance' might have been a football field or any version of a race. A sports phrase became cliche because it fits so much of what we do. The difference being that in a sporting event, we see the end-point--the uprights, the checkered flag, final score, the finish line. Day to day takes a different kind of perseverance.
We might hope for, work towards a specific result, but we don't know the distance. Some might say that positive thinking will get you what you seek, that if one believes, success will happen. Others might say that commitment and determination are the qualities needed for reaching any goal. Still others will say that any outcome is part of a Larger Plan and we should accept whatever results. Not my choice.
One of my elementary school teachers, a Sister of Charity of Leavenworth, had a rule for test study. "Pray like everything depended on God, but work like everything depends on you." She covered both sides of that Larger Plan without giving her students any reason to make excuses. I liked that.
Four Ordinary Women has benefited from the persistent commitment of Patti's husband, Wood Dickinson. Take a look at our website
www.fourordinarywomen.com
Look a bit more and enjoy our blogs as listed on the website. They are beautiful. They have taken a tremendous amount of Wood's time and talent.
Have you ever been really good at something and been asked to share that hobby with someone just learning? Maybe play tennis or golf with a total beginner? Patience, right? Takes unbelievable patience to pull it off without deep sighs, barely perceptible shakes of the head and a sore spot from biting the tongue. Wood is computer expert and we are rank duffers, but I have never felt his impatience even when I ask the same stuff over and over.
I have often talked about the steep-learning-curve that has taken us from writing to publishing to marketing to distributing. Patti has used the expression, "slogging through waist deep sand" to describe parts of this adventure. There are days when her words felt exactly right. However, we could not have come this far without the constant commitment of Wood's perseverance.
There is no doubt that we are going the distance.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
In Search of Short Term Memory
by Pat Antonopoulos
Another fair warning, Gentle Reader. This is a ramble, unstructured and without a worthy conclusion.
A conscious decision needs to be made.
Forget it.
Forget the list.
Forget the spider web of thought that clings with sticky residue.
Move all those moments of meanness out...away...gone.
Erase any long term lingering thoughts that keep the dregs fresh.
This isn't forgive and forget. Too often forgive is a phantom, only vague and indistinct. We think we forgive. We say we do. But the next time a pinch happens, the dregs resurface, good as new. Forgiveness is hard.
There is the forgiveness of the Bible, 70 X 7. Corinthians admonishes not to keep a record. "It is in God's hands" is a waver and a waver diminishes my responsibility. St. Francis' verse is a goal, but pretty impossible for most of us. And there is that "if only" as in If Only She/He would apologize, all would be forgiven. Not so. It helps but forgiveness needs much more. Forgiveness needs change. I might forgive 71 X 7, but by that time, my turn is definitely winding down.
Some would say that those 'dregs' are life lesson...that we need them to make good decisions. Maybe. And maybe they are stepping stones to a better way of handling those life lessons.
And I admit that forgetting is as close to impossible as forgiving. Further, I know that I need to step away from several 'lists' that have been growing uglier. And I am trying. But how does a person step away without walking away? How can we forget without relegating the person to a totally different place in our life?
Disengage? Disengage from the patterns that allow the list. But that comes very close to disengaging from the person. And sometimes keeping a person close might be worth fighting the list and accepting that getting pinched is part of the bargain. But why must renewable pain be part of a relationship? How important is it to stay close to hit-and-run?
Wish I could ramble this one to some kind of conclusion. I can't.
Another fair warning, Gentle Reader. This is a ramble, unstructured and without a worthy conclusion.
A conscious decision needs to be made.
Forget it.
Forget the list.
Forget the spider web of thought that clings with sticky residue.
Move all those moments of meanness out...away...gone.
Erase any long term lingering thoughts that keep the dregs fresh.
This isn't forgive and forget. Too often forgive is a phantom, only vague and indistinct. We think we forgive. We say we do. But the next time a pinch happens, the dregs resurface, good as new. Forgiveness is hard.
There is the forgiveness of the Bible, 70 X 7. Corinthians admonishes not to keep a record. "It is in God's hands" is a waver and a waver diminishes my responsibility. St. Francis' verse is a goal, but pretty impossible for most of us. And there is that "if only" as in If Only She/He would apologize, all would be forgiven. Not so. It helps but forgiveness needs much more. Forgiveness needs change. I might forgive 71 X 7, but by that time, my turn is definitely winding down.
Some would say that those 'dregs' are life lesson...that we need them to make good decisions. Maybe. And maybe they are stepping stones to a better way of handling those life lessons.
And I admit that forgetting is as close to impossible as forgiving. Further, I know that I need to step away from several 'lists' that have been growing uglier. And I am trying. But how does a person step away without walking away? How can we forget without relegating the person to a totally different place in our life?
Disengage? Disengage from the patterns that allow the list. But that comes very close to disengaging from the person. And sometimes keeping a person close might be worth fighting the list and accepting that getting pinched is part of the bargain. But why must renewable pain be part of a relationship? How important is it to stay close to hit-and-run?
Wish I could ramble this one to some kind of conclusion. I can't.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Skimming Takes The Cream
by Pat Antonopoulos
Email is convenient, quick and inexpensive. Users can dash in and dash out, choosing both time spent and length of message. Doing business on email allows easy access to information and almost instant response time. Some users type all lower case letters and forgo punctuation so the process is even faster. We have all learned to skim through our emails, noting what requires an action and what is quickly deleted. There are spam deterrents to save more time, to trim the waste. Even the 'friendly letter' email often gets the skim. And so we loose the richness, the cream.
A friend may write with a true need to communicate, to share at this moment. But that need might be buried in the email and easily missed as we skim for 'just the important stuff'. The cream of the friendship is watered down to the barest communication.
Recently, I received an email from a long time friend, someone from high school days. Much of the email was the catching-up kind of communication, like long ago chatting over coffee. Tucked in the middle was a message that I missed because I was in skim mode and hurried though the text. Later, as I worked to delete old messages, I decided to reread his email.
There are 'thud' moments and there are moments of feeling a weight on the chest...a weight of failure. This was one of the heaviest kind of thuds. My friend was asking for a part of our old friendship, a dollop of cream to soothe a need. And I missed it.
My follow-up email apologized. I truly meant the apology and did my best to give the support that was needed, but I knew my message was diluted by carelessness---by too much hurry and too little caring.
Preserving the cream of family and friend communication has to be worth the few extra minutes it takes to read with interest and concern, taking care to hold a hand that is stretching towards us.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Lemonade?
by Pat Antonopoulos
"When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade"
Maybe you remember that poster message that was once as common as, "Have a nice day."
For years, I tried living up to that judgment call, that challenge to rise above difficulties through my A+ attitude of gathering the emotional ingredients to transform the problems into something refreshing. More often than not, I succeeded because my life structure provided the rest of the ingredients. I had a satisfying job, a family, the comfort of a home in a safe neighborhood----a pitcher, water, some sugar, a big spoon and ice.
As I look at current family and personal struggles, I would be ashamed to even suggest such a judgmental message as "Make Lemonade". How hurtful to tell a struggling individual that all will be well if they simply adjust their attitude and make that sow's ear into a lovely silk purse. How presumptive to step into their moment and decide that an attitude adjustment would change the circumstances. Even the lemons could be crushed by the weight of many of today's circumstances.
I don't hesitate to redirect a whine or a pout when attitude is self-serving and ruinous to family harmony. It is easy to be caught up in the message of me-first-me-above-all-my-needs. Part of my grandmother work is to gently do that redirect. This is making a 'disciple of'. This is good discipline.
We can all have those days when we personify "Grump" and cleaning up our attitude is required if we want to function with family, friends, co-workers. We see the value in that attitude adjustment.
Respect. Respect for struggles, for circumstances, for a huge lack in life 'ingredients" would leave a much sweeter taste than the admonishment to spin straw into gold.
"When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade"
Maybe you remember that poster message that was once as common as, "Have a nice day."
For years, I tried living up to that judgment call, that challenge to rise above difficulties through my A+ attitude of gathering the emotional ingredients to transform the problems into something refreshing. More often than not, I succeeded because my life structure provided the rest of the ingredients. I had a satisfying job, a family, the comfort of a home in a safe neighborhood----a pitcher, water, some sugar, a big spoon and ice.
As I look at current family and personal struggles, I would be ashamed to even suggest such a judgmental message as "Make Lemonade". How hurtful to tell a struggling individual that all will be well if they simply adjust their attitude and make that sow's ear into a lovely silk purse. How presumptive to step into their moment and decide that an attitude adjustment would change the circumstances. Even the lemons could be crushed by the weight of many of today's circumstances.
I don't hesitate to redirect a whine or a pout when attitude is self-serving and ruinous to family harmony. It is easy to be caught up in the message of me-first-me-above-all-my-needs. Part of my grandmother work is to gently do that redirect. This is making a 'disciple of'. This is good discipline.
We can all have those days when we personify "Grump" and cleaning up our attitude is required if we want to function with family, friends, co-workers. We see the value in that attitude adjustment.
Respect. Respect for struggles, for circumstances, for a huge lack in life 'ingredients" would leave a much sweeter taste than the admonishment to spin straw into gold.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Another Perspective
by Pat Antonopoulos
Love this stuff!
Loved reading Patti's blog, Gutter Ball, and then listening to one of my sons give his perspective on President Obama's bowling comment as reported in the newspaper.
Need to be clear that I have never watched Jay Leno so my sense of the program does not add or detract from any perspective.
My son does not own a television so he, too, has little if any sense of Jay Leno or his program.
Probably important to note that this son discussed the comment with two of his brothers, a sister and a sister-in-law.
No match-ups and no consensus in that discussion. Our family is all over the political landscape and this incident was viewed with the usual variety of perspectives.
A bit of further background is important.
My son is an educator, a father, a consistent supporter of Special Olympics and a young man who has repeatedly handed yet another coat to a homeless person when the weather demanded he walk the walk. He has loved and laughed with the special kids as they toss a ball backwards or run from third to first, smiling all the way.
So...you know where this is leading, right?
For a very long time, my son has lamented what he sees as the ' unreasonable corruption of political correctness', the harnessing of thought to fit an outline designed to erase all chance of offense.
From his perspective, the man holding the office of President of the United States meant absolutely no disrespect by his comment. Rather, my son sees the incident as an indication that President Obama has a comfort level that allows him to laugh at his lack of ability and to make a comparison that does not dishonor the Special Olympians.
Perspective.
I do love it.
I do love to realize that each of us comes to every life moment carrying all the memories of past moments, the good and the damaged. We observe. We process. We become....and if we are lucky, we share our perspectives with those that help us enrich and clarify our own perspectives.
I am learning and I so appreciate the process.
Love this stuff!
Loved reading Patti's blog, Gutter Ball, and then listening to one of my sons give his perspective on President Obama's bowling comment as reported in the newspaper.
Need to be clear that I have never watched Jay Leno so my sense of the program does not add or detract from any perspective.
My son does not own a television so he, too, has little if any sense of Jay Leno or his program.
Probably important to note that this son discussed the comment with two of his brothers, a sister and a sister-in-law.
No match-ups and no consensus in that discussion. Our family is all over the political landscape and this incident was viewed with the usual variety of perspectives.
A bit of further background is important.
My son is an educator, a father, a consistent supporter of Special Olympics and a young man who has repeatedly handed yet another coat to a homeless person when the weather demanded he walk the walk. He has loved and laughed with the special kids as they toss a ball backwards or run from third to first, smiling all the way.
So...you know where this is leading, right?
For a very long time, my son has lamented what he sees as the ' unreasonable corruption of political correctness', the harnessing of thought to fit an outline designed to erase all chance of offense.
From his perspective, the man holding the office of President of the United States meant absolutely no disrespect by his comment. Rather, my son sees the incident as an indication that President Obama has a comfort level that allows him to laugh at his lack of ability and to make a comparison that does not dishonor the Special Olympians.
Perspective.
I do love it.
I do love to realize that each of us comes to every life moment carrying all the memories of past moments, the good and the damaged. We observe. We process. We become....and if we are lucky, we share our perspectives with those that help us enrich and clarify our own perspectives.
I am learning and I so appreciate the process.
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